Love is a Four Letter Word
Love Is a Four Letter Word
I’m not old enough to remember the decade of “free” love (as if love doesn’t come with a cost…), but I am old enough to see both the definition and the application of the word continuously change. Simply put, it doesn’t mean what it used to anymore. It is ever changing, and ever complex.
It also doesn’t help that in the language we speak we only have one word to apply to massively different groupings of situations and relationships. For example, I love my kids and I love my wife, but I do not love them in the same way. I love my siblings and their spouses and children, and I love my parents; but I also don’t love them in the same way. I love my friends and I love food, but I don’t love them in the same way. The list could go on and on almost endlessly.
To be honest, this is definitely a situation where I give a nod to the language of the New Testament. Most of it was written in Greek. An ancient language that actually has seven different words to apply to the different relationships or situations for the one word that we have and use in English: love.
Somehow, this word has even become a buzz word or a hot topic word. Many in our society are trying to change, distort, manipulate, and weaponize the definition of love. Which is sort of difficult in our language because, again, we only have one word to describe this massively multifaceted collection of relationships and situations.
Blatantly put, we’ve turned love into a four-letter word. Our culture - our world - is in a war of words because if you can change the definition, you can change the application. An example of that statement is this: love isn’t what you want it to be - love is what God says it is.
According to 1 Corinthians 13, love is a noun. It gives us a list of both what love is and what love isn’t according to the nature of God Himself. Love is described as a noun but applied as a verb. That’s because God IS love but He applies His love to us in action as a verb. And if God is love, and we are made in His image, then we are love as well. And we are known BY our love just as He is. For while we were still sinners Christ applied His love for us on the cross of Calvary for our sins.
Love is a base for any and every relationship, no matter what it is. So if the base is changed (definition and application) then anything built on top of that will not be sturdy enough to withstand and weather any storm. For example, only God’s love can weather and withstand a storm of hate. Only His love can be kind to unkindness. Only His love captivates and frees captives. Only His love accepts and doesn’t condemn.
And while we’re on the hot topic of acceptance, here are a couple of statements to think about and apply:
You can accept the person and not the behavior. Jesus did.
You can love and not affirm. You can affirm the person, and not the behavior. Jesus did.
You can love and disagree, and not argue. Jesus did.
You can love and not condone. And true love does not condemn.
Jesus never condoned the practice, but He also never condemned the person.
True love is not acceptance and affirmation of the behavior, but it is acceptance and affirmation of the person stuck in the behavior. The world wants us all to be tied to our actions - what I do is who I am and who I am is what I do. The Bible teaches us pretty much the opposite. You are a child of God - that is who you are. What we do as children of God will then bring us closer or take us further from Him.
But a closer look at the “sinners” statement above will actually reveal that children of God operate the same way just in reverse. What I do is to glorify God because of who I am - His child. And because I am His child, what I do is to glorify Him. In reality, we aren’t so different at all, we just choose to look at love in a different way. And that perspective changes our position and our practices. Because we love God, we choose to live our lives the way Jesus did instead of choosing to live for ourselves and live our lives to please the flesh nature.
The greatest attribute of love is not acceptance or affirmation, but correction and discipline. If left to our own devices, a life of selfishness and self-serving is the only inevitable outcome. Which is why we discipline ourselves. Paul talks about this in 1 Corinthians 9 and how he disciplines his body to bring it into subjection to Christ.
In the same way that a parent disciplines a child for the betterment of the child, God also disciplines His children for their good. This is love. This is true love. Hebrews 12:6 says that God “disciplines those He LOVES.” That Greek word for disciplines means to correct, train, and educate. Yes, sometimes it means actual discipline like a spanking, but it is to correct, train, and educate us for our good.
So I have found, in my own life (and I’m still very much working on it), that the more I discipline myself with self-control, the less God has to do it for me. And the less I discipline myself, the more He has to - for my good. This is what love is. This is how love is applied.
If parents only ever accepted and affirmed everything their child wanted and wanted to do from the time they were born, what kind of adult would be produced? If there was no correction or training or educating, what kind of adult would be produced? Probably ones similar to some that we have in society today.
So don’t let society determine what the definition of love is. Don’t let society distort what the definition of love is. When we do that, it is only detrimental. Emphasis on mental… Humans have never been good at defining and applying love on our own. God has already given us THE definition. It’s our job to make the application.
Love IS a four letter word, but a better spelling is W-O-R-K. Love comes with a cost, but so does regret.
Don’t be greedy with your love, only with His definition of it.
I’m not old enough to remember the decade of “free” love (as if love doesn’t come with a cost…), but I am old enough to see both the definition and the application of the word continuously change. Simply put, it doesn’t mean what it used to anymore. It is ever changing, and ever complex.
It also doesn’t help that in the language we speak we only have one word to apply to massively different groupings of situations and relationships. For example, I love my kids and I love my wife, but I do not love them in the same way. I love my siblings and their spouses and children, and I love my parents; but I also don’t love them in the same way. I love my friends and I love food, but I don’t love them in the same way. The list could go on and on almost endlessly.
To be honest, this is definitely a situation where I give a nod to the language of the New Testament. Most of it was written in Greek. An ancient language that actually has seven different words to apply to the different relationships or situations for the one word that we have and use in English: love.
Somehow, this word has even become a buzz word or a hot topic word. Many in our society are trying to change, distort, manipulate, and weaponize the definition of love. Which is sort of difficult in our language because, again, we only have one word to describe this massively multifaceted collection of relationships and situations.
Blatantly put, we’ve turned love into a four-letter word. Our culture - our world - is in a war of words because if you can change the definition, you can change the application. An example of that statement is this: love isn’t what you want it to be - love is what God says it is.
According to 1 Corinthians 13, love is a noun. It gives us a list of both what love is and what love isn’t according to the nature of God Himself. Love is described as a noun but applied as a verb. That’s because God IS love but He applies His love to us in action as a verb. And if God is love, and we are made in His image, then we are love as well. And we are known BY our love just as He is. For while we were still sinners Christ applied His love for us on the cross of Calvary for our sins.
Love is a base for any and every relationship, no matter what it is. So if the base is changed (definition and application) then anything built on top of that will not be sturdy enough to withstand and weather any storm. For example, only God’s love can weather and withstand a storm of hate. Only His love can be kind to unkindness. Only His love captivates and frees captives. Only His love accepts and doesn’t condemn.
And while we’re on the hot topic of acceptance, here are a couple of statements to think about and apply:
You can accept the person and not the behavior. Jesus did.
You can love and not affirm. You can affirm the person, and not the behavior. Jesus did.
You can love and disagree, and not argue. Jesus did.
You can love and not condone. And true love does not condemn.
Jesus never condoned the practice, but He also never condemned the person.
True love is not acceptance and affirmation of the behavior, but it is acceptance and affirmation of the person stuck in the behavior. The world wants us all to be tied to our actions - what I do is who I am and who I am is what I do. The Bible teaches us pretty much the opposite. You are a child of God - that is who you are. What we do as children of God will then bring us closer or take us further from Him.
But a closer look at the “sinners” statement above will actually reveal that children of God operate the same way just in reverse. What I do is to glorify God because of who I am - His child. And because I am His child, what I do is to glorify Him. In reality, we aren’t so different at all, we just choose to look at love in a different way. And that perspective changes our position and our practices. Because we love God, we choose to live our lives the way Jesus did instead of choosing to live for ourselves and live our lives to please the flesh nature.
The greatest attribute of love is not acceptance or affirmation, but correction and discipline. If left to our own devices, a life of selfishness and self-serving is the only inevitable outcome. Which is why we discipline ourselves. Paul talks about this in 1 Corinthians 9 and how he disciplines his body to bring it into subjection to Christ.
In the same way that a parent disciplines a child for the betterment of the child, God also disciplines His children for their good. This is love. This is true love. Hebrews 12:6 says that God “disciplines those He LOVES.” That Greek word for disciplines means to correct, train, and educate. Yes, sometimes it means actual discipline like a spanking, but it is to correct, train, and educate us for our good.
So I have found, in my own life (and I’m still very much working on it), that the more I discipline myself with self-control, the less God has to do it for me. And the less I discipline myself, the more He has to - for my good. This is what love is. This is how love is applied.
If parents only ever accepted and affirmed everything their child wanted and wanted to do from the time they were born, what kind of adult would be produced? If there was no correction or training or educating, what kind of adult would be produced? Probably ones similar to some that we have in society today.
So don’t let society determine what the definition of love is. Don’t let society distort what the definition of love is. When we do that, it is only detrimental. Emphasis on mental… Humans have never been good at defining and applying love on our own. God has already given us THE definition. It’s our job to make the application.
Love IS a four letter word, but a better spelling is W-O-R-K. Love comes with a cost, but so does regret.
Don’t be greedy with your love, only with His definition of it.
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